Today’s Myspace announcement by “Tom,” the robot behind official myspace user announcements, was chock-full of perfection.

For those of you who haven’t logged in recently, or don’t have myspace, here’s the segment of his message, verbatim, that I feel should be analyzed.

p.s. if you’re getting friend requests from people you dont know and it bugs you, go to your account settings and set it so they have to know your last name to send an add request.. that’ll slow that stuff down!

Mr. Myspace himself, said some pretty amazing things. Lets break down his complex and grammatically correct statement.

if you’re getting friend requests from people you dont know and it bugs you

Nobody should be getting spammed. There should be a registration filter, CAPTCHA script, or something logically created to prevent the creation of said fake accounts.

go to your account settings and set it so they have to know your last name to send an add request

Really? Well thank you Tom for such an insightful answer.

You know, I had never thought that, say, maybe it would prevent any legitimate people who weren’t high school pals, college room mates from being able to add me.

I think I will follow your solution and limit my friends to the closest most intimate people I know, ie. THE ONES WHO ARE ALREADY ON MY FRIENDS LIST.

that’ll slow that stuff down!

Hmm… will it… well yes, it will. For you. With less people complaining about how crappy Myspace is, maybe you can “slowly” build a simple preventative account creation feature into the website.

But wait, that would take too long, so I guess you need us to slow things down so you can take your time and re-invent the wheel.

As for everything else… I understand that a robot communicating with a bunch of ignorant Americans is probably not an easy task, but for Christs sake, clean up the pathetic attempt at “connecting” with your community.

I have never been more annoyed to read such poorly phrased crap. I am seething right now. Seething. Thank you Tom, you horrible P.R. device.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 25th, 2007 at 10:53 pm and is filed under Emo Tears, Random Profanity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.